Just a Fond Farewell to a Friend

Hello, Ícaro.

It’s been years since we spoke — I’ve been missing you bad lately, friend.
Woke up sentimental today, remembering the time we spent together back in the day.¹ Sundays may or may not get the worst in me. Not gonna lie and fall into the adage of “life being simpler back then”. As we both know, that wasn’t the case. Our bond was sincere. That much is true.
Things have been going, nowadays. More streamlined, with a better sense of future and plausibility. Far gone were those aimless and toxic relationship days, thankfully. Thank you for the shoulder to rely on during that time. I am definitely grateful. And I know you were as well.
Nana’s still back in town — might as well pay her a visit someday. Been finally sending her enough money to keep things tied together and give her wiggle room to just go by enjoying life. Yes, I have abided by a steady job (sort of, let’s leave at that).

Enough me. How are you?

Heard that the spoiled friend of yours changed after all that happened to him. My old friend and her daughter are doing good as well, from what my Nana told me. I’m glad some people also found better ways to face life and its intricacies.

I must confess, I’m writing you because I’ve got back into reading and just discovered a poem that reminded me of you, from Cecília Meireles. As you might guess, it’s peculiar and sad. Its name is Elegia, written by her after her Nana passed away. Her mom passed away when she was only three years old, which prompted her Nana to raise Cecília. That by itself is something.

I’m not much of a tearjerker myself, as you might remember, friend. I clearly recall you telling me some of the trials you’ve been through during your lifetime. Although extremely heavy, I’ve never shed a tear, not by disrespect or not empathizing. It wasn’t something I was ever accustomed to.
After reading her poem, though, its power struck a heavy chord with me. I couldn’t help at all. The mourning was incredibly relatable. Even though I did not lose my Nana, which means a whole world for me, I’ve lost you, my friend. That by itself is a mountain of feelings that have been around for years. A mountain decreasing little by little, by its own volition. Sometimes, much like right now, I really wish I could be there for you again. And with you. Just for the memories we had and always will have.
Thank you for everything. I still see you in every friend I connect with. Your existence really meant and means a lot to me.

I hope everything is ok with you. I see you, you see me.

“Minha tristeza é não poder acompanhar contigo
o desenho das pombas voantes,
o destino dos trens pelas montanhas,
e o brilho tênue de cada estrela
brotando à margem do crepúsculo."²

With love, my dear Ícaro,

A.